Dedicated to the memory of my daughter Lisa O’Loughlin, who was known as "Freedom" to her family and friends. She took her own life on October 26, 1987.
"What a waste! She was only nineteen, beautiful and intelligent!" A young man exclaimed these words at my daughter Lisa’s wake eleven years ago. I’ll never forget his remark.
She was diagnosed manic-depressive and schizophrenic at the tender teen age of sixteen. One day in 1984, clad in only a white sheet, she claimed to be "the second coming of Christ" to her brother Chris. Alarmed, he quickly told me - so we took her across the street to North Central Bronx Hospital Emergency (Psych) Room.
Lisa’s diagnosis occurred several admissions later in a Long Island hospital. She went to six hospitals at least (Beth Israel, Bronx State Psychiatric Center, Westchester County Medical Center) and ultimately to Harlem Valley State Psychiatric Center in Wingdale, N.Y. My daughter was transferred there because I had just remarried and I wanted her to be geographically closer to me and my husband; we lived in Bedford Hills.
Besides Lisa, my youngest, I have two sons, ages 33 and 39. They are both on speaking terms with their father since our divorce. Alcoholism was on his side of the family and mental illness on my mother’s side!
Lisa, it was revealed later in our family group therapy sessions at Bronx State, took various harmful street drugs with her girlfriend and boyfriend and found out they did trigger off her condition. I noticed some drastic changes in her bubbly personality after age fifteen. Lisa had done modeling for a year and had a blast doing it! I, thank God, I have many photographs and slides from her fabulous escapade!
Drugs! Lisa, in the end, wanted to be "drug-free" we surmised. In order to function somewhat "normal-like" she had to take and stay on her prescribed psychotropic drugs that were given to her at the hospital.
Eleven years ago drugs like Risperdal (risperidone), Zyprexa (olanzipine) and other new atypical antipsychotic drugs were non-existent. She had significant side effects for which she was given Cogentin, but her sick mind let her act strangely "different." At this point, her doctor, social worker and family advocate were to meet with her dad and me to evaluate Lisa and her medication!
Each day the patients would be bussed to a nearby town to a site like PsychSystems for group therapy, etc. That particular day, October 26, 1987, Lisa was to remain behind at the hospital for the evaluation meeting. She, however, went on the bus without any "worker" stopping her as per ordered. She went down to the town of Mount Kisco, left there, then boarded the "Metro Line" to White Plains, N.Y., where she visited an ex-patient friend.
Keep in mind now, my daughter had had no psychiatric medications for several weeks. She must have thrown them down the toilet when no one was looking. Lisa was hearing voices and hallucinating through all this. When she had left her friend, she went back to the White Plains station, where witnesses said she was "screaming, swerving and veering" on the platform. When an express train going north came through the station, Lisa vaulted in front of it, to her death! Those dreaded voices urged her to leave this earth and her miserable existence!
Had she stayed on the drugs given her for eight more years, in a guarded setting, whether it was at home, in the hospital or at a half-way house, Lisa would have been around to take one of the wonderful new atypical drugs for schizophrenia!
You must stay on these drugs, always, whether you feel good, bad or indifferent. I can’t stress this enough. To stop taking these drugs for any "good" reason is a bad move. We have come such a long way since my daughter’s suicide, eleven years ago. She would be here today if such a drug existed then. Lisa would be a productive human being like so many other individuals with schizophrenia who are reaching out and helping others like her.
Suicide can be prevented. We now have the resources and wonderful support groups and people to help every step of the way. Lisa’s death was not in vain and was not a "waste." If good can come out of it—helping others with mental illness—we can all learn form this horrible experience!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Express to Paradise: A Mother's Story
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Express to Paradise: A Mother's Story
Dedicated to the memory of my daughter Lisa O’Loughlin, who was known as "Freedom" to her family and friends. She took her own life on October 26, 1987.
"What a waste! She was only nineteen, beautiful and intelligent!" A young man exclaimed these words at my daughter Lisa’s wake eleven years ago. I’ll never forget his remark.
She was diagnosed manic-depressive and schizophrenic at the tender teen age of sixteen. One day in 1984, clad in only a white sheet, she claimed to be "the second coming of Christ" to her brother Chris. Alarmed, he quickly told me - so we took her across the street to North Central Bronx Hospital Emergency (Psych) Room.
Lisa’s diagnosis occurred several admissions later in a Long Island hospital. She went to six hospitals at least (Beth Israel, Bronx State Psychiatric Center, Westchester County Medical Center) and ultimately to Harlem Valley State Psychiatric Center in Wingdale, N.Y. My daughter was transferred there because I had just remarried and I wanted her to be geographically closer to me and my husband; we lived in Bedford Hills.
Besides Lisa, my youngest, I have two sons, ages 33 and 39. They are both on speaking terms with their father since our divorce. Alcoholism was on his side of the family and mental illness on my mother’s side!
Lisa, it was revealed later in our family group therapy sessions at Bronx State, took various harmful street drugs with her girlfriend and boyfriend and found out they did trigger off her condition. I noticed some drastic changes in her bubbly personality after age fifteen. Lisa had done modeling for a year and had a blast doing it! I, thank God, I have many photographs and slides from her fabulous escapade!
Drugs! Lisa, in the end, wanted to be "drug-free" we surmised. In order to function somewhat "normal-like" she had to take and stay on her prescribed psychotropic drugs that were given to her at the hospital.
Eleven years ago drugs like Risperdal (risperidone), Zyprexa (olanzipine) and other new atypical antipsychotic drugs were non-existent. She had significant side effects for which she was given Cogentin, but her sick mind let her act strangely "different." At this point, her doctor, social worker and family advocate were to meet with her dad and me to evaluate Lisa and her medication!
Each day the patients would be bussed to a nearby town to a site like PsychSystems for group therapy, etc. That particular day, October 26, 1987, Lisa was to remain behind at the hospital for the evaluation meeting. She, however, went on the bus without any "worker" stopping her as per ordered. She went down to the town of Mount Kisco, left there, then boarded the "Metro Line" to White Plains, N.Y., where she visited an ex-patient friend.
Keep in mind now, my daughter had had no psychiatric medications for several weeks. She must have thrown them down the toilet when no one was looking. Lisa was hearing voices and hallucinating through all this. When she had left her friend, she went back to the White Plains station, where witnesses said she was "screaming, swerving and veering" on the platform. When an express train going north came through the station, Lisa vaulted in front of it, to her death! Those dreaded voices urged her to leave this earth and her miserable existence!
Had she stayed on the drugs given her for eight more years, in a guarded setting, whether it was at home, in the hospital or at a half-way house, Lisa would have been around to take one of the wonderful new atypical drugs for schizophrenia!
You must stay on these drugs, always, whether you feel good, bad or indifferent. I can’t stress this enough. To stop taking these drugs for any "good" reason is a bad move. We have come such a long way since my daughter’s suicide, eleven years ago. She would be here today if such a drug existed then. Lisa would be a productive human being like so many other individuals with schizophrenia who are reaching out and helping others like her.
Suicide can be prevented. We now have the resources and wonderful support groups and people to help every step of the way. Lisa’s death was not in vain and was not a "waste." If good can come out of it—helping others with mental illness—we can all learn form this horrible experience!
"What a waste! She was only nineteen, beautiful and intelligent!" A young man exclaimed these words at my daughter Lisa’s wake eleven years ago. I’ll never forget his remark.
She was diagnosed manic-depressive and schizophrenic at the tender teen age of sixteen. One day in 1984, clad in only a white sheet, she claimed to be "the second coming of Christ" to her brother Chris. Alarmed, he quickly told me - so we took her across the street to North Central Bronx Hospital Emergency (Psych) Room.
Lisa’s diagnosis occurred several admissions later in a Long Island hospital. She went to six hospitals at least (Beth Israel, Bronx State Psychiatric Center, Westchester County Medical Center) and ultimately to Harlem Valley State Psychiatric Center in Wingdale, N.Y. My daughter was transferred there because I had just remarried and I wanted her to be geographically closer to me and my husband; we lived in Bedford Hills.
Besides Lisa, my youngest, I have two sons, ages 33 and 39. They are both on speaking terms with their father since our divorce. Alcoholism was on his side of the family and mental illness on my mother’s side!
Lisa, it was revealed later in our family group therapy sessions at Bronx State, took various harmful street drugs with her girlfriend and boyfriend and found out they did trigger off her condition. I noticed some drastic changes in her bubbly personality after age fifteen. Lisa had done modeling for a year and had a blast doing it! I, thank God, I have many photographs and slides from her fabulous escapade!
Drugs! Lisa, in the end, wanted to be "drug-free" we surmised. In order to function somewhat "normal-like" she had to take and stay on her prescribed psychotropic drugs that were given to her at the hospital.
Eleven years ago drugs like Risperdal (risperidone), Zyprexa (olanzipine) and other new atypical antipsychotic drugs were non-existent. She had significant side effects for which she was given Cogentin, but her sick mind let her act strangely "different." At this point, her doctor, social worker and family advocate were to meet with her dad and me to evaluate Lisa and her medication!
Each day the patients would be bussed to a nearby town to a site like PsychSystems for group therapy, etc. That particular day, October 26, 1987, Lisa was to remain behind at the hospital for the evaluation meeting. She, however, went on the bus without any "worker" stopping her as per ordered. She went down to the town of Mount Kisco, left there, then boarded the "Metro Line" to White Plains, N.Y., where she visited an ex-patient friend.
Keep in mind now, my daughter had had no psychiatric medications for several weeks. She must have thrown them down the toilet when no one was looking. Lisa was hearing voices and hallucinating through all this. When she had left her friend, she went back to the White Plains station, where witnesses said she was "screaming, swerving and veering" on the platform. When an express train going north came through the station, Lisa vaulted in front of it, to her death! Those dreaded voices urged her to leave this earth and her miserable existence!
Had she stayed on the drugs given her for eight more years, in a guarded setting, whether it was at home, in the hospital or at a half-way house, Lisa would have been around to take one of the wonderful new atypical drugs for schizophrenia!
You must stay on these drugs, always, whether you feel good, bad or indifferent. I can’t stress this enough. To stop taking these drugs for any "good" reason is a bad move. We have come such a long way since my daughter’s suicide, eleven years ago. She would be here today if such a drug existed then. Lisa would be a productive human being like so many other individuals with schizophrenia who are reaching out and helping others like her.
Suicide can be prevented. We now have the resources and wonderful support groups and people to help every step of the way. Lisa’s death was not in vain and was not a "waste." If good can come out of it—helping others with mental illness—we can all learn form this horrible experience!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
0 comments:
Post a Comment