Thursday, October 20, 2011

Answers From Margaret Ray's Mother

We all remember Margaret Ray who became fodder for the tabloid media for becoming obsessed with talk-show host David Letterman. She repeatedly broke into his home in New Canaan, Conn., camped out on his tennis court and on one occasion stole his Porsche. Ray had schizophrenia like two of her brothers. And like them, she also commit suicide. Her tale was tragic behind all of the kidding. New York City Voices' Editor Danny Frey had the pleasure of meeting Loretta Duvall, Ray's mother, at the Department of Mental Health, Mental Retardation and Alcoholism Service's Seventh Annual Mental Hygiene Awards last year, and the following questions were answered through an Internet correspondence.

Question: What was a major indication to you that something was mentally wrong with your daughter?

Answer: Margaret showed a lack of good judgment in her 18th, 19th and 20th years. She made irresponsible decisions. I attributed this to changes in the family lifestyle: my contested divorce, her entering college, sale of home. I did not recognize this behavior as anything other than a reaction to stress.

Question: After you realized that Margaret had a mental problem, what did you and your family do?

Answer: Margaret was married and showed a strong devotion to her husband at the time. I realized that she needed professional care. I could do nothing. She distanced herself from me and her family. Her husband held me responsible for her behavior. There was very little that I could do. I continued to love her, tolerate her behavior and once took her for counseling. She lived many miles away.

Question: How often did you visit Margaret in the mental hospital?

Answer: Rarely. I did visit at Fairfield Hills, CT and I went to Niantic State Prison, but she refused to see me. I also visited her in Kissimmee, FL Prison. She was in prison hospitals throughout the country.

Question: It seemed like Margaret was very loud and vocal when she was sick (many schizophrenics are quiet and introverted). Do you think someone with schizophrenia would get the necessary treatment as fast if they were quiet and sick?

Answer: I don't know, Dan. It would be an interesting study. I think firmly that people who are mentally ill and commit publicized crimes get lots of attention. The public seems to become titillated about viewing and reading about this. Strange.

Question: Were you afraid that Margaret might take her own life?

Answer: I never thought so. She as a whole was a positive thinker, resourceful and creative.

Question: Describe how you felt the first time you saw Margaret on television in connection with stalking David Letterman.

Answer: I first heard about Margarets escapade when I was notified by the police at my home. I do not recall the very first time I saw her on TV. But I did. Most of the time I was informed of her appearances. I have had copies made of some of the publicity. It was national and international news. Until her death no one publicly defended her (there were several judges and law enforcement people who tried to help). It was a long, long tragedy.

Question: What made you finally agree to take your family's story of schizophrenia to the public, not just Margaret's, but your other children's as well?

Answer: I committed to giving up my privacy (which is dear to me) and my pride (which helped no one) to try to bring the pain, the shame and guilt, the disdain and stigma out into the open. I want to do this with love, respect, facts and figures and mostly education.

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Thursday, October 20, 2011

Answers From Margaret Ray's Mother

We all remember Margaret Ray who became fodder for the tabloid media for becoming obsessed with talk-show host David Letterman. She repeatedly broke into his home in New Canaan, Conn., camped out on his tennis court and on one occasion stole his Porsche. Ray had schizophrenia like two of her brothers. And like them, she also commit suicide. Her tale was tragic behind all of the kidding. New York City Voices' Editor Danny Frey had the pleasure of meeting Loretta Duvall, Ray's mother, at the Department of Mental Health, Mental Retardation and Alcoholism Service's Seventh Annual Mental Hygiene Awards last year, and the following questions were answered through an Internet correspondence.

Question: What was a major indication to you that something was mentally wrong with your daughter?

Answer: Margaret showed a lack of good judgment in her 18th, 19th and 20th years. She made irresponsible decisions. I attributed this to changes in the family lifestyle: my contested divorce, her entering college, sale of home. I did not recognize this behavior as anything other than a reaction to stress.

Question: After you realized that Margaret had a mental problem, what did you and your family do?

Answer: Margaret was married and showed a strong devotion to her husband at the time. I realized that she needed professional care. I could do nothing. She distanced herself from me and her family. Her husband held me responsible for her behavior. There was very little that I could do. I continued to love her, tolerate her behavior and once took her for counseling. She lived many miles away.

Question: How often did you visit Margaret in the mental hospital?

Answer: Rarely. I did visit at Fairfield Hills, CT and I went to Niantic State Prison, but she refused to see me. I also visited her in Kissimmee, FL Prison. She was in prison hospitals throughout the country.

Question: It seemed like Margaret was very loud and vocal when she was sick (many schizophrenics are quiet and introverted). Do you think someone with schizophrenia would get the necessary treatment as fast if they were quiet and sick?

Answer: I don't know, Dan. It would be an interesting study. I think firmly that people who are mentally ill and commit publicized crimes get lots of attention. The public seems to become titillated about viewing and reading about this. Strange.

Question: Were you afraid that Margaret might take her own life?

Answer: I never thought so. She as a whole was a positive thinker, resourceful and creative.

Question: Describe how you felt the first time you saw Margaret on television in connection with stalking David Letterman.

Answer: I first heard about Margarets escapade when I was notified by the police at my home. I do not recall the very first time I saw her on TV. But I did. Most of the time I was informed of her appearances. I have had copies made of some of the publicity. It was national and international news. Until her death no one publicly defended her (there were several judges and law enforcement people who tried to help). It was a long, long tragedy.

Question: What made you finally agree to take your family's story of schizophrenia to the public, not just Margaret's, but your other children's as well?

Answer: I committed to giving up my privacy (which is dear to me) and my pride (which helped no one) to try to bring the pain, the shame and guilt, the disdain and stigma out into the open. I want to do this with love, respect, facts and figures and mostly education.

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